Monday, November 3, 2008

consider this sentence.
when he got angry, he drove faster. he had to pry his foot off the accelrator with effort.
a beginner writer thinks, the accelrator is redundant, why not just say:
he to pry his foot off with effort.
there, now doesn't that sound beter? want to know why it's wrong. Wrong. WRONG.
becuase writing is guiding your reader to think what you want them to think.
and when i read, "he had to pry his foot off with effort," i assumed off his leg, which yes would take a lot of effort to remove one's own foot. so i snickered. not becuase self maiming is funny, but becuase this idea pops in, that's so wrong, and it's funny, becuase you know it's not right. so now we're laughing, and the main character is having this tense moment, and he is the only one.
ta da. book ruined.
hack writing revealed.
so how to fix it? you have to think like you have no clue ewhat's going, and re read your story like a reader. very hard, considering your all wrapped up in your own work, gritting you teeth with your character, and in the teeth gritting good time, you don't realize how you dropped words you need.
like off the accelator.
consider a horror novel setting. those aren't just tombstones, they better stick up like old bones, or teeth of an undergorund monseter, becuase you don't just describe a scene, you set mood.
so how does that work for romance?
think of what we, women, want. (since most readers of romance, erotica, are women.) they want love. to be worshipped. our vanity fed, our bodies adored, to have a guy our love slave, etc. so for writing the erotica novel-
his look worshipped her with his eyes. (noe, he's not jsut looking at her, it's setting the mood.) his graceful hand (throw in the occasional, OCCASIONAL, extra adjective. but please not too many in a sentence.) his graceful hand gestured her in to his room. as she stepped in, he locked the door behind them. guided her to the bed. sat beside her. and cuddled. told her how wonderful she looked.
do men behave liek this in real life?
no, it's pretty much shuck the clothes off, flop in bed, and say something like, let's get to it, or come here, you. a man's idea of romance. not a woman's.
so, set the mood when writing erotica by using peachy adjectives. please avoid cliches. no swelling, heaving peach breasts, please, or i will unt you down and ack! cough cough. just kidding. btu no cliches, please.
a mystery novel guides thought by droppign hints in such a way that the reader assumes one thing. for an erotica novel, you want the reader to assume that love, lust passion is there somewhere, and it better be more than real life. more everything, to be a good read.
a woman's breast is firm, but delightful to hold, becuase i would want compliments about my breasts. a man hugs a woman, and tells her how beautiful she is. how nice she smells. how sweet her smile is. they look adorningly into each other's eyes.
set the mood. avoid cliches. guide that reader thoughts.
and if you are a beginner writer, feel free to use mroe words, so we don't have people prying thier feet off. gross.

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