Saturday, May 15, 2010

So I keep hearing about how Emma Holly is this great writer, and I get one of her books. It's about a vampire from space, who lives in historical times, marrying a total doofus head. And I'm like, eh, it's okay. Until the sex scene. I don't know, maybe outer space vamps remind me too much of sci fi, where I have certain expectations that aren't met in a history type book. But, then, vampire love bites. Not bites as in this bites, but bites as in,
Fang me baby.
Suddenly, the book is a whole lot more interesting. now I want to be bitten by a vampire.
Because I have a neck fetish a sudden?
Er, no.
Because all women, (well almost all women, off the top of my head I can't think of any who would say no) most women want that passion, love, o face galore.
It's amazing how hot and lustful these wenches are, coming from a century that didn’t even have the internet to teach them how to behave during sex, or what a golden shower is, but no, these innocent, blushing dip heads are just burning hot mamas, simply get one half undressed and the country side is a burning with love.
Amazing. Really.
Do I run out and write my own vampire novel? No, I recognize that urge now, the that was a good book I can't wait to write one just like it, even though I won't because I'll read another I like just as well and head off on that.
Do I run out and find someone with teeth for a little nipping here and there?
Okay, I wish. But no, no vampire fantasies for me, thanks. Because I realize that the book is about the passion women want, not the fanged alien posing as the perfect male ever. Seriously. He has almost no sweat, no foul odors, ( clearly not human right there. Not even one fart. True alien.) and glows golden and reads her mind for the best sex ever.
Just a little too good to choke down.
But, a good lesson. Write what women want, what they want to experience, that is romance, even if it involves werewolf flying ninjas, or alien brain sucking candy spouting love machines. I don't want a half dead vampire hanging over me, I want to feel what she does, who doesn't? it's why the books sell. Ah ha.
Write the passion deep and hard, the lust high, and maybe the book will sell.

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